I got married at age 28, primarily motivated by feeling it was time to get married, buy the home and have the babies. There was just one problem…I was attached to the blueprint, but not in love with him. Five years later I found the courage to let go into uncharted and scary territory. Sound familiar anyone?
When I say that divorce “can” be peaceful, it’s not because it’s an easy decision and any fun at the time. During some part of the process for us all it’s usually terrifying, disappointing, daunting, sad and sometimes full of regret. But when we accept and heal from the heartbreak that we might have betrayed ourselves, and/or that the person we married isn’t really “that” person we assumed or hoped they would be…we can find our way to a sense of peace, rich learning and deeper fulfillment. Ideally this does require like minded consciousness and mutual cooperation of course. But in the less fortunate cases where you may feel yourself alone in the “sending you good will” and “thanks for the lessons” camp YOU can still stay on your path of higher ground. Every one of us has our own story but we can all land on our feet, with our head held high and our heart open once again. I love Debra Ford’s book: “Spiritual Divorce”. It embodies the spirit in which I chose to walk through my experience then and now. The pay off is huge and everlasting.
I got divorced 17 years ago and I just attended my ex-husband’s wedding last weekend. Yes…you heard that right. And guess who did the toast? Yes… you heard right again. Nothing is impossible in this wonderful life of ours!
Last year we did a brief video together to share our experience and what it taught us. This was on the heels of a chapter I wrote about our marriage in a book called: Living Proof…Celebrating the Gifts that Come Wrapped in Sand Paper. I felt inspired to share this video again … in the hopes that it may reach someone out there who may need to tune into their truth now and find peace sooner.
Here you go…do share your thoughts if you feel so inspired! Click on the “Finding Our Truth” video: http://www.youtube.com/drmarcycole
Are you still holding on to toxic stuff post-divorce that does not serve you? You know the paralyzing anger at yourself or at whomever you shared vows with? If so my hope for you is that, when you are good and ready, that you let it go and begin to use everything you learned and live in the present; calling forth new experiences and maybe even some a new juicy love waiting in the wings. Regardless of what we find on the horizon…we all can discover, and create our “happy ending”. 😀